I used the word mélange

College life doesn’t really seem like a whole new world. Rather, it seems like a large mélange of worlds I already know – namely, the OC, Everwood, and Days of Our Lives. I guess it’s true that life imitates art, but it’s more accurate to say that life imitates shitty dramas.
Within days of starting orientation, several of my hallmates had been sexiled. My roommate (as well as most of the hall) went out drinking and partying. In retrospect, I really should not have been surprised. Most high school kids do it anyway; why would college kids have any hesitations? It still came as a shock.
Coupled with all that, I’ve been hearing the word “adult” bandied about rather frivolously lately. “We’ll settle this as adults.” “Come on, now, we’re all adults here.” I looked around after I heard the second one and thought, No, we’re not. Look at us. Do you really think we are adults? I really have a hard time accepting the fact.. no, the possible idea of being an adult. What makes me an adult? What has changed about me that I am no longer the child I’ve been all my life? Is it the alcohol and sex? If that’s the case, then I’m not an adult. And, if that is the case, do I even want to be an adult now? The capricious drunkenness and hook ups seem less than desirable to me; fun doesn’t need to be something I can’t remember the next morning, and sex shouldn’t be with someone I don’t love, much less barely even know. All in all, it doesn’t sound very mature. I have a sense that I sort of skipped that phase of my life, and I can see that they’re not good decisions. In that way, I think I am more adult, but it doesn’t seem to be right. I still consider myself very much a child.

Basically, I feel less mature than, say… a three-year-old, but more mature than, oh.. a high school student. That sounds about right.