I inadvertently came upon the biggest scam ever in the history of corporate America. I came into the laundry room on the first floor to get a few particularly soiled items cleaned (The mixture of clothes, Sprite, and mud made me second guess my laundering abilities and made me call my mom to double check and make sure it wouldn’t become a caffeine-free, soggy mess). After loading the washer, I turned around to discover a soda machine. I was fully aware that this was product-placement. Nowhere else on campus will one find students with that much change as in the laundry room. Rather than fight The Man, I applauded him for his business skills and bought a Cherry Coke. The bottle popped out, and as I turned around and twisted the cap out, the soda burst forth from its container and on to the counter and INTO THE WASHING MACHINE. I flipped when I realized the vicious cycle – Laundry begat soda, and soda begat laundry. Thankfully, not enough soda crept in to make me start over the wash.. this time. Next time, the full twenty ounces could make its way into my washer, or worse, the clothes I’m wearing. Having learned my lesson, I finished my coke in my room. I’m still doing laundry at the moment and I just bought another Cherry Coke. I’m such a fucking pawn.
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