Fluffernutters and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

The other day at work, Anna comes into the back room to tell me the story behind two people who were sitting at the counter.  It was a man and a woman, fairly young, and clearly on a date.  Anna tells me that not too long ago, the guy used to come in here with a different woman, and they had a cute habit of getting a fluffernutter sandwich and a grilled cheese, and splitting them.  Afterwards they'd play a game of Blink, one of the games we had on the game shelf that's a bit like Uno.

This, however, was a new girl.  Anna wonders why he was here with someone else, and figures that they must have broken up, and he is out with this new woman.  It's a sad situation to begin with, but things only went down from there.  The man tries in vain to recreate his cute habit with the new girl, but things don't seem to work out.  To begin with, the girl has a peanut allergy.  She wouldn't be able to split a sandwich with him - at least not a fluffernutter.  When he tries to order one anyway, she gives him a look - you're getting something with peanut?  Heartbreaking.

As she looks over the menu, she announces another unfortunate fact - she also happens to be lactose intolerant.  Pretty big deal when we mostly serve ice cream and grilled cheese sandwiches.  As she special-orders her sandwich, he resigns himself to a meal completely unlike the one he anticipated.  

But Blink! Blink might save the date.  He breaks out the deck and they begin to play.  After a few attempts to teach her and let her get the hang of the game, they begin to play, and she (of course) ends up being no good.  He comments that it's amazing that she has five unplayable cards left over after the round - he'd never seen it before.

I don't know why I insisted on writing this down.  I think it's just because Anna seemed sad that the guy wasn't still with the first girl.  Even though I'd never seen the guy before in my life and didn't talk to him or his new date, the fact that he was trying to recreate his date with the first girl struck me.  It makes me think that he probably didn't want things to end - maybe she had to move, or she got tired of the relationship and ended it; I don't know.  When every aspect of the date went opposite the way it was supposed to, I felt defeated, even though I had nothing to do with any of it.

I think everyone tries to hold on to some memory of past relationships.  We romanticize and soften the edges of each image so we can look back on them with fondness.  These memories can become a part of us, ingrained to the point where we might not even remember where they came from or why we retain such fond associations with random things like fluffernutter sandwiches.  I wonder if this man tried to recreate his memories with his girl because he's not over her, or because he just doesn't know what else to do; maybe those two are the same thing.

I don't really know if that man was happy on his date, or with his old girlfriend, or this new one.  Maybe he just really likes fluffernutters.  But I know there are things in my life that I like, that I look fondly upon because of the people I've dated.  You take a piece of those people with you wherever you go, worn proudly on your chest like badges.  And like a badge, you wear it because it means (or meant) something special to you.  When others see it, though, they learn something about you.  That's the moment when your experiences and memories with others, those parts of them, become a part of you.